Sunday, June 14, 2009

The Last Five Years

I thought I would post my reflection of the last five years. I am hoping I can get John to do the same - but he thinks the whole blogging thing is "weird".

First things first, I NEVER thought my life would be anything like it is! I mean that in a good way. If you would have asked me back in 2004 where I would be in five years, I would have told you "driving a Lexus, married to John, living in a huge house in Grand Rapids, and have traveled all around the world". A lot of things I wanted for my life were built on having "things". I have realized (learned) in the last five years that having "things" does not make your life richer. Love, family, friends - these all make your life richer. I have come to learn that without my family and friends I am nothing, I have nothing. Without John, I would not have someone who knows me better than I know myself. Without my friends and family, I would have no one to call when I am down.

Five years ago if you ask me if I would have children I would have told you an emphatic "NO!" However, last year I realized that I did want children and that I wanted to have the experience of being a mom. It was honestly the best thing that has ever happened to me. I wasn't a big fan of being pregnant and it was not a tough pregnancy, but we did find out that our baby girl had a congenital heart defect and that was really hard. But when Amelia was born in November 2008, it was like I found out who I really was and who I really wanted to be - her mom. She has taught me so much in a few short months - what ultimate love is, what I would do for my child (anything), how I can be brave and strong for her even when I don't think I have it in me. She is a tough cookie and such a joy to be around. Her laugh makes me laugh, her smile makes me smile. Seeing John with her is amazing. It is such a weird feeling to look at her and know that she came from John and I; that I "survived" childbirth (!!); and that she will carry on our family.
I absolutely love being a mom. I have said that a million times and could say it a million more. I had a rough bout with post-partum depression, but thanks to my parents, John, his parents, my friends and a good therapist who prescribed helpful medications, I made it through. It was hard for me to lose "me", but I realized that a job will always be there and that a career isn't even half as important as the job of being a mom. I became a new "me", a better me! I know I am blessed that I get to be home with Amelia and Owen every day.
I don't think I could be any happier with my life than right now. We have a wonderful family with Amelia and Owen, a wonderful extended family, great friends, a great house in a cozy neighborhood - life is good. We really are blessed and I am so thankful every day of where I am in life.


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