Blog Slacker

I have been a blog slacker for the last month or so. So what's happened?
Most importantly, Amelia had a cardiologist visit on November 4. The echo of her heart showed that her holes have closed and that there is minimal valve regurgitation in the mitral and tricuspid valves. Her cardiologist, Dr. Turner, said he would be very pleased if all AV Canal surgeries had these results.
We then got some bad news that Amelia is having preventricular contractions ~ in layman's terms, she has some beats that originate in the bottom of her heart rather than the top. She had to wear a "Holter" monitor for 24 hours to have a continuous EKG. She did very well with it! We sent it back to Dr. Turner and JUST got the results today that he is "not concerned" with what he saw over the 24 hours. He thinks her PVCs are benign and we will just check it out in ONE YEAR! Yes, we don't have to go to the cardiologist until next November! It's bittersweet ~ I like having Mia double-checked, but at the same time, we have to let her heal and let her heart get to "normal". I was so bummed out after the cardiologist visit ~ that it's always one thing after another for my baby girl. Today was happy because we got good news from Dr. Turner!
Mia also had an follow up with the Ear, Nose and Throat doctor at U of M. The doctor scoped her throat to look at the vocal cords and her paralysis is GONE! I got to see it with my own eyes while he scoped her. He also looked at the recording of the scope from June and it is totally different. The doctor said there is no reason we need to come back. Good news!
Amelia is a fighter. She takes all of this in stride. I know she is just a baby, but she could be fussy, crabby, whiney ~ she is NONE of these things during all the tests, waiting and doctor's offices we have to deal with.
So...what's coming up? Amelia's FIRST BIRTHDAY!! Her party is on Saturday, November 21. I am trying to make it the best birthday party ever because how many times do you turn 1? (well, once, I guess!) I am so excited to celebrate her first birthday, but at the same time so emotional about her turning one. It's just surreal to me that last year at this time I was so frustrated that I was still pregnant and wanted to meet Amelia so bad. Now, it's a year later, I made it through "learning" how to be a mommy, post partum, Amelia's open heart surgery, and now, here we are. I never knew how unbelievably wonderful my life would be as a mommy, but it just keeps getting better!

Thank you to my friend Mary who awarded me the "Honesty Award". Here are my "honest" answers!

Here's how the award works:

1. Thank the person who gave you the award and link to their blog.
2. Share 10 honest things about yourself.
3. Present this award to 7 other whose blogs you find brilliant in design or content.
4. Tell those 7 people they have been awarded.

10 honest factoids:

1. I never *ever* wanted to be a mom. I was totally ok with the fact that my career would be my baby. I was never one of those women who says "I want 'x' amount of children" ~ I always said "I don't want kids". Cut to now, I am a stay at home mom of the most beautiful baby in the entire world, Amelia, 11 months. Honestly, I wouldn't care if I never went back to work and stayed home with Amelia until she goes to college : ) I want more kids, too.

2. I feel guilty that Amelia has a congenital heart defect and blame myself for it. Since I was the one that "grew" her, it had to do with something I did wrong. I don't know if I will ever not feel guilty as her life will never be "normal". She will think it is normal (I will do my best to ensure that) but I will always worry and always wonder.

3. I don't like how "Type A" I am and wish I could go with the flow more. I wish I could just let my house be a mess and just chill out more. I battle this every day.

4. When I met John, I always said we were complete opposites ~ in actuality, we could not be more alike. He *IS* my better half. He knows me better than I know myself ~ cliche, but true. It's scary sometimes how alike we are. We ARE that couple that dress alike, even though we didn't intend to.

5. I am angry that I never knew my dad's mom and that all of my grandparents passed away by the time they were 75. I did not have my grandparents at the two most importants days of my life ~ our wedding and the birth of our daughter. I wish Amelia would have been able to know her great-grandparents. They were awesome and I have the best memories of them.

6. I LIKE living on the East Side of Michigan, although I wish my family was here. My parents would love if we moved back to the Grand Rapids area, but we've established our family here and have a life here. Some day I would love to move back to the West Side, but right now I am happy.

7. I like to debate, but some times don't know what the heck I am talking about.

8. I wish I was smarter. People say "oh, you're so smart" but the truth is, I'm just "normal". I try to read a lot and become more learned, but I get distracted : )

9. I miss high school and college every single day. If I could repeat them both, I would, in a heartbeat. I get sad every year around Back to School time.

10. I am extremely jealous. I always want what everyone else has, even though I am SO blessed and I know it. Must be the Scorpio in me.


Unfortunately I don't have any bloggers to award because I don't have any Blogger friends other than Mary!!

An Angel Left Her Wings

I found this poem when I was working on Amelia's 1st Birthday slideshow (which I will post when it's done). This completely encompasses how I feel for her.

An Angel Left Her Wings

I have this little angel. For me she left her wings.
She has no idea how much happiness she truly brings.
She brightens up my days with her smiles and her laughs.
She helps me to remember all the blessings that I have.

Her face, it is so perfect, she's sweet and soft and pure.
Sometimes she can be willful and sometimes she is demure.
She tries her very hardest to please and do what's right.
She gives the greatest hugs from morning until night.

Every person that has known her sees this light within her soul
I know that in this whole great world, she has a special role.
She's helpful and considerate to everyone she knows
This light in her shines brighter as my angel grows.

When she sees someone is sad, it opens up her heart.
She wants to do all that she can; she wants to do her part.
She'll squeeze away the sorrow and make me forget about my pain.
She shows me where the sun is when we're hiding from the rain.

I know that God must love me, He showed me with His Grace
I knew just how completely when I saw my angel's face.
And in that very moment when she came into my world,
I knew that she was so much more than just my baby girl.

She would be my sunshine, with a sweetness that won't end.
And when she grows up one day she would be my closest friend.
She would be the reason I would always try my best.
For my little angel baby girl would be my greatest test.

When God entrusts to you an angel, who has left her wings for you.
Encircle her with love with everything you do.
Let her know God made her, and that He trusts you with her care.
Be sure to make time for special moments with her to share.

And when at night she finally says her prayers and goes to sleep
I Thank Him for my angel, and ask for him to always keep
A watchful eye and hand to protect her from this world.
Protect my little angel; protect my baby girl.

© Tina M. Marascia